Do what you say you are going to do: I was thinking about this a lot in the last week when noticing that my own schedule was rather hectic with commitments after work each day. I’m usually very careful to not overbook my calendar after work hours. I cherish my down time at home so much and really count on it to recharge my batteries, so I can have the energy to go full speed ahead during my workday. It turns out, I had evening commitments all week long, which was almost unthinkable for me. In my mind, I was trying to reason with myself on possibly getting out of 1 or 2 of these engagements, but my thoughts kept going back to my motto of “Do what you say you are going to do”. I knew in my heart that I had made commitments to these extracurriculars and that the invitees were counting on me to show up and stay true to my word.
I ended up having a conversation with one of my friends on Tuesday and Wednesday evening about this very thing, as we had both committed to the same two engagements. Both evenings, my friend told me that several other friends and colleagues had also committed to “showing up” and then sent him emails or text messages at the last minute with some sort of emergency type story as to why they couldn’t make it now. We compared stories of similar situations and we both agreed that frequently people will just say yes to an invite knowing they can back out with an excuse at the last minute.
I find that to be such a character flaw (sorry to offend). If you want people to show up for your important events, then you need to be committed to following through and show up for other people’s important events. Boom! I know this is tough love stuff but it’s a critical element in relationship building and maintenance. I know sometimes those bridal showers and graduation parties can be a nuisance, but they are important to your friends and family. If you blow them off, then you can’t be surprised when you have a low turnout at your important events.
I find myself always repeating the same mantra. “Do what you say you are going to do”! It can be something simple such as picking up milk on the way home. If you say you are going to do it, then do it. People are counting on your word as a commitment. If you do not follow through, people will start to associate that lack of commitment when inviting you to things and/or delegating tasks to you in the workplace. I know if someone blows me off in the workplace on a project, I just stop asking them and give projects rather to someone else who I know will come through for me. The same goes for parties and events. People who never show up stop getting invited.
In all transparency, I really wanted to have an excuse and back out on some of my evening engagements last week, however, it kept running through my head that I said I would be there, so by golly I was going to be there! It’s now Friday night and I’m feeling good about my productive week and fulfilled commitments and I’m ready to head home and relax for some “me time”. The perfect end to a full week!
-Cindy